After you have got into the right frame of mind, use this discussion template to plan the right questions. This series of great questions from Ken Trass, Professional Development Manager at the New Zealand Law Society, will assist you to think deeply about what is causing the issue and facilitate a successful tough conversation…

Before confronting a team member with a tough conversation, first take a close, objective look at what might be causing the person’s poor behaviour or performance – starting with yourself. It could be that initiating the tough conversation is the first step in resolving the issue that is causing the poor performance. This would be a great outcome for both of you. Whatever the outcome, some preparation and planning needs to happen before you have the tough conversation…

There’s a fine line between the need for coaching/feedback and the need for a tough conversation. Discernment and judgment is required on your part to identify what is really at play and evaluate the best way to deal with the situation. So what exactly is a tough conversation? I could replace the word tough with firm, clear, direct, or courageous. A manager who refuses to deal with the current reality is on a slippery slope as the leader of the team…