There’s a fine line between the need for coaching/feedback and the need for a tough conversation. Discernment and judgment is required on your part to identify what is really at play and evaluate the best way to deal with the situation. So what exactly is a tough conversation? I could replace the word tough with firm, clear, direct, or courageous.

A tough conversation is one you know you should have, to address  an attitude or behaviour, but shy away from hoping it will ‘come right’. Often you will be aware that you have been tolerating the behaviour, but ultimately realise that the change is not going to happen by itself. You know that, if left unchecked, this behaviour could be detrimental to the person concerned, the wider team, you as a manager, and, ultimately, the organisation as a whole. And you know that you need to act.

A manager who refuses to deal with the current reality is on a slippery slope as the leader of the team. The other team members are undoubtedly aware of the situation and waiting for you to deal with it. They are almost certainly talking about it among themselves.

When there is a clear issue in the team, not dealing with it may mean you lose your strongest team members. Not dealing with it may mean your immediate manager might start asking uncomfortable questions. Not dealing with it could potentially put you under the microscope!

In further blogs I’ll share more about preparing for and having tough conversations. You can also join my free online session on managing tough conversations this Friday, 11am to 12pm. Register here.